Lover's Spat

One day, skipping to work, I hear Tara, a 98 lbs. Texan screeching to a hastily retreating young man, "You're as stupid as a dirt sandwich!"

Now maybe it was the delivery in her country twang or as a chef, how ridiculous a dirt sandwich would be, but I literally laughed for 36 hours straight!

Miss Tara is my hero! I will now forever use that line - it slays me!!!

Change of Guards

My good friend, Capt. Buz is gone, along with F&B Dir. and Mr. Staff Capt. We now have a new troupe - Capt. Nesham (sp?) F&B Dir, Lazy Eyed Jay and Staff Capt. Ron.

Staff Capt. Ron has an irritating habit of bellowing "Aloha" when he sees me. This particular "Aloha" has many, many voice inflections that I don't understand, nor like. Since I don't know who this fool is, and only see a white shirt with a million gold stripes, I look at him oddly and say "Hello".

Last week I had passenger access (PAX) and went to see a show. After the show I'm high tailin' it to Pink's Champagne Bar to see the piano player. I'm elbow to elbow with passengers, navigating my way when this globe of a head pops out of nowhere and utters "Aloha!" Oh ya, its Staff Capt. Ron - again. I leap back 3 feet and squeak out "hi".

Somehow his "Aloha" made me want to take a shower and and don a nun's habit, and maybe call the police . . .

Name Calling

There is this young woman who works in “Utility”. She washes the stacks of dirty dishes/cups, 10+ hours a day! - bless her heart. One day she looks at me and says you look like my mother. She proceeded to show me a picture of her mother, and we do resemble each other somewhat. As a result, she now calls me “Auntie”. I thought how nice it was she thought of me as kinfolk. Since that day, there is a group of 20 Somethings who call me “Auntie”. I’m just rollin’ with it. I consider it as high praise and a demonstration of respect.

There is one young man in particular, though has NEVER called me Auntie, yet I had the rare privilege of standing as his Auntie. His mother died of a sudden heart attack, Friday. So I helped this dynamic, bright, fun loving, young man cope with his tragic grief by helping him with arrangements, packing his bags, and signing off the ship.

There is another woman who works on the ship and everytime I see her I swear I’m looking at myself in 15 years! We look that much alike. All staff have commented to either one of us about our “Twin”. So now we call each other “Sister Twin”. I like her immensely.

Then there is the Hawaiian/Korean/Filipino group that call me “Sister”. Not sure when this started, but I realize I’m just answering to it like I would my own name. It’s nice.

Wine Tasting!

I just discovered every Tuesday at 11 p.m. (crazy late for me) there is a Wine Tasting event for crew members!! You don’t have to request Pax Access in advance, and you don’t have to get permission from your supervisor. You almost feel like a free normal person.

The sommelier is very knowledgeable and thoroughly enjoys introducing us to the wine experience. For $10 we’re given 4 flights. Each week we’ve sampled a different wine: Sauvignon Blanc, Shiraz/Sarah and Sparkling Wines.

It is a lot of fun!!

Okay, there is a one major drawback. We HAVE to come in FULL uniform. That means for me I have to wear my chef’s coat and pants, neckerchief, name badge, S.T.Y.L.E. pin, thermometer, alcohol swabs, ink pen, notepad and black non-skid clodhopper shoes. I am cut a little slack, I don’t have to wear the silly paper hat!!

You’ve just read my laundry quandary, so you can only imagine I must look like a homeless person attending this thing.

More Laundry Issues

As a crew member of the galley, the window of opportunity I have to drop off 2 of my 3 filthy uniforms is on Tues/Thurs/Sun from 15:00-19:00 hrs. Now, I work from 9:30 to 18:00, theoretically, I have an hour to drop off my uniform before Laundry closes.

But there is this tricky little hiccup called “RED ZONE” and “DEPARTURES”. Red Zone times are random frequent times that the fire screen doors are closed and you cannot pass through certain areas until the doors are reopened by the Bridge, ( a.k.a. the Captain). Departures is when the fire screen doors are closed and you also cannot pass through certain areas until the doors are reopened by the Bridge.

The Laundry Room is sealed behind these fire screen doors.

Red Zone is always at 18:00.

Departure is always at 18:00.

Laundry Room staff disappear at 18:00-19:00.

My uniforms are so filthy, not only can they stand up on their own, they're doin' a little jig . . .

Laundry

The crew laundromats, while technically are free, are generating a shopping spree I wasn’t counting on!! All my clothes go into the machine one color come out another! The ship uses “recycled” water that leaves everything kinda dinghy, drab and somehow irreversibly misshapen!! So I had to trash several items, and buy new.

Buying new was a new experience . . .

Typically I shop at Barnum & Bailey and grab the medium size circus tent in my favorite color and call it a day! I tried that this time around, and they seem a little roomier than I remember, but hey, I haven’t got time to diddle, I’ve been wearing medium size circus tent for years! This is MY SIZE!! So I bought a bunch of items and marched confidently out the door.

Weeks go by, and its bugging me that my new medium size circus tents are swimming on me. So I worked up the nerve to go to a regular store, and try on Maternity stretch wear! These actually fit!! Without severely restricting blood flow and oxygen!!

So I guess, there is something to be said for diet and exercise. You work everyday 8+ hours a day, and when you have the time, wolf down a bagel, 3 tiny slices of pineapple for breakfast, a scoop of rice with curry over the top for dinner, you’re bound to lose weight!

It’s safe to say, I’ll be puttin’ the weight back on when I get back home . . .

Sick at Sea

My new employer, NCL, really frowns on you taking anytime off work, regardless of the circumstances. Last week I got the mother of all sickness!!! I had actually made peace with the fact that if I died, (and I fervently hoped that I would) it’d be okay. I missed two days of work and the other five days I barely worked 50 mins. Considering I’m paid microminimum wage, I can only guess that paycheck will be miniscule.

After a trip to the ship’s doctor, I received a packet of amoxicillan, 600 mg ibuprofen, jar of cough syrup, packet of sore throat lozenges. Nine days later, I feel better, though my energy level is extremely low, still feel really weak.

Needless to say, every other crew member has the exact same bug, so I can only imagine it will take many weeks for this thing to completely run its course.

(sigh)