Boys in Men's Clothing

There is a chef here who for weeks only glared at me with a deadpan expression. While he looks like Yosemite Sam his demeanor is more like Charles Manson. Every time I see him I dive for the opposite corner and at ALL cost avoid eye contact.

Last week Chef Yosemite Sam about 1/2 block away spied me careening his direction. He waggles his thumb and pinkie finger at me in the Hawaiian expression for "Hi!" or "Hang Ten" !

HUH?!

The other day, I've got my head down chopping onions, peppers and parsley (like a maniac) for fish cakes he screams, "HELLO GORGEOUS!" I cut my finger . . . WTF?

Earlier this week Chef Smelly Ass had an impromptu staff meeting, I'm the only woman in the group of 8 people. While chef is breaking down the menu for us, I whip out my lip moisturizer and whisk it around my lips right quick.

• Chef looses his train of thought, and stutters for a good 15 seconds.
• Paulino gazes at me like I'm a goddess.
• The other 5 just gape at my mouth like it gonna perform another magic trick!!

I've always had an extremely high opinion of myself (blame my parents), but reactions like this is RIDICULOUS!!!!