Aha!

Since working for NCL psuedo-navy, I've now discovered why it is one can become so easily addicted to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. The pressure to conform to "order" is tremendous. Hierarchy is EVERYTHING! And you are immediately put in your place even without it verbally being said. I'll give you an example . . . .

I work 7 days a week, I was issued 3 uniforms. It takes laundry 3-4 days to return your laundry. After working 8 mins. in the kitchen I'm covered in muck!! My uniform is destroyed. So I'm now forced to wear filthy clothing several days in a row. Executive sous chefs march around in pristine uniforms. I guess, I'm put in my place. So, being the wicked person I am, I've worn the most disgustingly filthy dirty uniform to work for the past 5 days - I ain't changing it either!

This is just one of the many many ways one is doggedly, incessantly, relentlessly pummelled with feelings of inadequacy. Not to mention the numerous rules/regulations that instill fear in one. You are guaranteed a write up, suspension, docking, retaliation if there is any suspicion of you breaking a rule.

It's no wonder I've always been in conflict with management. I can't knuckle under. It's physically, emotionally, spiritually impossible for me to do. I have no interest in making those in higher positions feel superior - to me? Fuck 'em!

Granted I pay the consequences, like the time I called the Capt. a liar. But since then, whenever he sees me he shouts "Hi, There!!" The Dep. Dir. of Food & Beverage is currently trying to figure out why I don't shudder in his very presence. I'm gonna get him a helmet, cause we will be buttin' heads soon . . .