C'mon, Really?

About 3 weeks ago Dawn and I landed a new roommate, Mabry. God bless her, she’s a recovering methamphetamine addict, but one habit she can’t quite kick is nicotine. As is with all things surrounding NCL, there is a strict no smoking policy, mostly everywhere, but especially in the cabins! One day after work, I walk into the cabin and immediately smell smoke. Mabry steps out of the bathroom, and smoke is billowing around her! I can barely make out her features the smoke is so thick!

So I ask her, “Were you smoking in there?”

Mabry: “Oh, noooo.”

Me: “Did you light a match?”

Mabry: “No, I was cleaning the bathroom.”

Me: “Mabry, that’s cigarette smoke I see/smell.”

Mabry: “Let me check.” She then proceeds to walk in the miniscule bathroom flooded with smoke and sniff the air and proclaim, “I don’t smell anything. I promise you, I wasn’t smoking in there.”

She caught me on a slow reflex day, cause I should have called the bridge to report a fire in cabin #2215, that’s what we’ve been trained to do! Instead, I gave her the stink eye and went on about my business. The next day, I did have a discussion with Security, and Security must have said something to her, because now she’s giving me the silent treatment - like I care - one less liar I have to talk to . . .

On another note -

My new boss, Chris, tells me Friday, “We’re getting complaints that there aren’t enough proteins on the line at late night (11:30 pm- 1am), so we’re gonna have to change your work hours from 9:30am - 6pm to 10am - 6pm, with a 1/2 lunch.”

What my work hours have to do with enough food being on the line at late night, I don’t know or care and nor did I ask! It means I now have more time in the morning to swim on Kona Wednesdays! YIPPEEE!!!

My boss also shared with me, his hopes for world peace. I’ll pass this bit of information on to you, so you can better understand what brand of foolishness I’m dealing with.

His hope for world peace is for a hookah so large that only God could light it and everyone smoke from it once a week, to mellow everyone out. He said this with such conviction and optimism, I didn’t have the heart to tell him he’s a fucking idiot. Instead I asked, “What’s a hookah?” - NO, I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS!!

I guess now would also be a good time to divulge the fact my boss also had a lengthy, heated discussion, with one of the servers, as to which super hero had special powers on their birthday . . . I’m not kidding.

27 days til I’m gone from this looney bin.